11/10/21 ###Managing the expectation post melancholia
#traxxfm If I go with the flow today, everything is pretty somber. That's because I am very levelheaded since yesterday. Don't try to rationalize it. It's not rational. Everything is very much dependent on the fluctuation of the neurotransmitters. #traxxfm Since my situation is a bit odd, I ended keeping my parameters small. This is as small as it gets. Only E.L.S.
I tried to make it smaller. Can't do that. This is the smallest config.
#traxxfm It's like what Lizzie said, if it is cancer, at least we know how to deal with it. This illness, we don't know.
Worst, I have to separate the symptom of the illness from my own kooky personality. In the past, I jumbled them together. Now I know better.
#traxxfm My doctor said, this illness doesn't have a wellness marker.
In other words, I cannot rely on medicine and the medical profession to get well.
If it is to be, then it is up to me. That's why I decided my minimum config is E.L.S.
Any lesser is too small.
#traxxfm Miyamoto Musashi said, "Do nothing that is of no use."
Trust me, I had weighed the options. This is the minimum config for me.
Notice, even my 2 kids are not in the minimum config.
This is making things as simple as possible but not simpler - Einstein
#traxxfm So, on the surface level, things may seem superfluous. In reality, I am CONSTANTLY regulating my personal variables against a very insidious illness.
You may not notice because I manage to make it very seamless. The truth is I am a relentless survivor.
#traxxfm With or without the illness, like everybody else, I got a KRA to deliver.
By shrinking my perimeters, I am now only accountable for the success of Athlete4Life's deployment.
I had completed my 22 years assignment on 4/9/21. The next milestone is 24/12/24.
#traxxfm Sweetie, are you OK with the idea of making E.L.S. the empiric?
You know how tricky it is to speculate your thoughts.
I can tell you though that you make my day. Without you, it's like having an eclipse of the sun.
#traxxfm Right... We stick together. As it is, E.L.S. is the minimum config.
From here on, there are many things I will put at a constant. That includes my relationship with E.L.S.
Then, the next 3 years will be a steady cruise towards our destiny. Are you game?
#traxxfm I told you many times before, hang on to the Secure Attachment.
Then you have a high degree *[] (of) certainty being in this relationship.
* Right, Sarah. Everything is about a mindset. Including marriage.
#traxxfm Secure Attachment is like a fixed deposit. Once you make the deposit, it stays there no matter how fluctuating the situation is.
Once we ride past the turbulence, the voyage is pretty consistent.
Are you ready for it?
#traxxfm It is nothing more than a state of mind.
Once you have Secure Attachment, you are basically secured. Isn't it nice?
#traxxfm Take my case with Sarah. We are very secured. Because of that, we thrive in this very constricting environment.
Nevertheless, we both stay committed to one another. Just like I am committed to you on daily basis.
I even plan my day around your schedule.
#traxxfm Honey, there is no magic. All it takes is consistency.
Day in, day out without losing enthusiasm. Can you do that for the next 3 years? mm
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