Wednesday, 29 September 2021

29/9/21 ^^^I need to ride the depression

Today is mainly sleeping and eating.  It is really a depressing day.

I only slipped away for 4 days.  Certainly, food is the factor.

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Of all the things, I fear depression the most.  It robs me of happiness and the feeling of certainty.

I have to fight this feeling alone.

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This depression is forthcoming.  It began with the Ayam Tonggek, Pisang Goreng and 3-in-1 Coffee.

Need to go back to OMAD.

Perhaps I eat OMAD but I also eat Nutritional Yeast.

I really need to quit carbs.  I am allergic to carbs.

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The real battle just began.

The first thing that got to go is the 3-in-1 Coffee.  Next time I am hungry I just eat Nutritional Yeast and drink Cold Dark Roast.

Definitely NO SUGAR AND STARCH.

This is the real battle.  Can I really go with less and less frequent?

I had won over the 3 Cs.  Now is to win over the 4th C.

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One of the objectives is to reduce to 77 kg.  I'll do that with OMAD LCHF.

At the same time, the depression is an awakening.

#traxxfm Hi honey... I slipped in my Athlete4Life routine for the past 4 days. Today it hit me. I was hit by depression. Of all the things, I fear depression the most. Luckily I managed to ward it off.
#traxxfm I made the mistake of eating High Carbs High Fat food the past 4 days. On top of that, I didn't exercise through the duration. It was a recipe for disaster. So now I am fighting it with Nutritional Yeast and Starbucks Cold Dark Roast.

#traxxfm My body can't handle High Carbs. I will experience a dopamine surge. So the whole day I was under the weather. Food is the factor here.

#traxxfm I reckon I am not just the n=1 for Athlete4Life but I am also the n=1 for successfully living with mental illness. The illness doesn't simply go away. It just went into remission. The minute I slip, it will show its ugly face.
#traxxfm If you think about it, I am nothing special at all. I have all the ailments of society. The only difference is I rode through the shortcomings regardless of my imperfections. Makes me wonder if all that was meant as a sign for others to take heed.
#traxxfm Think about it, honey... Where is the lesson learned if I have a perfect life? On the contrary, I am faced with the day-to-day challenges of the common folks and yet I managed to handle them as a mere mortal. That makes me special, I guess.
#traxxfm What is the lesson then? I looked deep inside me and I concluded that my greatest strength is my faith that there is a God, Life After Death, and Judgement Heaven. I am indeed the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier. Only for Allah and All Allah Only.
#traxxfm Wow, 2 of my favorite songs in a row... You are indeed the love of my life, my darling wife.

#traxxfm I asked you this before, what if you know that you are guaranteed success in life? That's what it is honey... I KNOW for a certain everybody is guaranteed heaven once he or she pays the Ferry Man. All we need to do is live that life...

#traxxfm What is known as miracles are common occurrences to me. Refer to them as Karomah. It may be uncommon for most people but for me, they are parts and parcels of daily living. Just like when I found you are Sarah is the same age. Now that is Karomah to me.

#traxxfm It's possible to live life without noticing the signs in front of you. However, how can I deny that I am a Wood Dragon born in the Hour of the Tiger (3:08 am); the most glaring sign of the prophecy?




#traxxfm Do you know that all my life, I was told that I am special? So some people are aware of it. What counts is not me but my message. As far as I am concerned, I had DELIVERED my end of the deal. From here on, it is about collecting the bounties.

#traxxfm Sure, I am not your ordinary Joe. Just like you, people adore you as the hot chick on national radio. But to you, you are just being you. Same here honey. I am just the good old me. Even though I am the topmost in the food chain. You follow?

#traxxfm In a way, my reputation precedes me. Alas, I am just Sharudin Jamal, a Just Man and Just A Man. All I want is to love and be loved.

#traxxfm I not here to blow my own whistle. My intention has always been about convincing you that you are my wife for eternity. Nothing else matters. Once you are convinced, then we move with certainty. Much like Sarah and I. I have no interest beyond that.

#traxxfm When I pledged to be the Creator's Most Loyal Soldier, my intention was to fight evil. Little that I know that I will be pitted against Iblis. It was not my intention to seek fame or glory either. Now that was done, I just want to get on with my life.

#traxxfm It was never *[my intention] my intention to rope in and and some local players to my cause. * Is that so, Sarah? I was just following my kigatsuku. Hey, as long as you believe, that's all that matters:

#traxxfm You completed me when I won my Gold Medal in 2020. With that, I have my E.L.S. medals. *That[] all that matters. I love you so much, honey. * Right, Sarah...

mm

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